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Thursday, October 7, 2010

The Game, The Gift

I was thinking a lot today about how having cancer has changed my a good way.  There are a lot of things as you go through this battle that really bite.  In the end, those that survive the battle have something special to take with them.  At least that is how I feel.  I am a survivor, whether I survive one more year or 50 more years.  There is a song that says (I will summarize)...if you knew tomorrow was your last much different would you live it?  Surviving cancer gives you that perspective, and that is priceless.  I am reminded of the movie "The Game" starring Michael Douglas.  The following is a review of this movie:

 by Ásgeir Örn Nordquist  (Kópavogur, Iceland).
"Nicholas Van Orton, a successful businessman lives a good life until an unexpected birthday gift from his brother destroys it all. Nicholas has been enrolled in a game - "a profound life experience" that begins quietly but soon erupts in a rush of devastating events. Van Orton has to win this deadly game or lose control of everything in his life. And this time money and power are meaningless. This is a suspense/thriller, that does manage to hold one's attention. The film stars Michael Douglas and Sean Penn. Deborah Kara Unger (David Cronenberg's "Crash") turns in a fine supporting roll as well. Davd Fincher, director of Seven and Aliens 3, continues to set high standards for motion picture making. This lastest entree of Fincher's does not lose a beat in delivering the maximum impact of the story. This movie will get into your head. It will keep you guessing the whole time. If you don't give this movie a chance you'll never know what you missed."

Why do I think of this movie?  It is because Michael Douglas has been given a gift, but he has to fight for his life.  No money or power will help him.  In the end, he thinks he is dead, but he survives to find out it was all a game.  Why is it a gift?  Why does Michael Douglas' character end up thanking his brother for this "deadly" gift?  Because he will take with him a new value he holds on his life.  Something he would have never been able to see if he had not played "the game."  That is what surviving cancer has done for me.  Whether it is 1 more year or many more....I will no longer allow my days to  "suck the life out of me".  Instead, I will try to suck the life out of each day.  Little things that were a nuisance before, have become charming and special.  I realized this as I drove Presley up to the school for activity night.  I watched her walk away from the car, approaching a crowd of middle schoolers.  I thought to myself how special it was that I got to see this.  She is growing up fast.  Before, my thoughts might have been " I have to take you where now?".  It is easy to allow life to get the best of us.  But now I know the value of getting the best out of matter how small best is.  It is a gift, this new perspective.  To truly have it, you must have your life snatched from you, as you hold on to the last little bit...scratching and fighting tooth and nail to take it back.  That is how you get the gift. 

 It has been said that having breast cancer is like being elected to a club that you never wanted to be a part of; it is truly a sisterhood.  You hate that you are in "the club", but you are glad that there are so many who share in this battle with you.  The club members are very nice, and they know what you are facing.  You get to meet new clubs members everywhere, and everyone you know, knows someone in the club.  They all have the gift, the gift of a new perspective.  They don't sweat the small stuff.  They have a "bucket list", a list of all the things they want to do before they "kick the bucket".  So as I bring this post to an end, think about what you would do differently.  How would you live your life if you knew you were to your final days?  It is my hope that everyone could live like this without going through a horrific battle with cancer.  So live each day to the fullest, the best you know how.  Take the gift, steal the gift, grab it and run.  Whatever you do, don't wait for it to come to you.  Until next time my friends...


Ellie K. Belfiglio said...

"Suck the life out of me" Instead I try "TO suck the life out of each day."
My beautiful, precious child if that is what you learned from this hard, difficult year, I want it to. I want you from now on to teach me how to be like you and try to enjoy little things like taking your child to school, or hearing you'll be a grandma again, and hoping for a new kitchen, or...
Oh, how wise you are. Is that how you always were or is it that what cancer taught you? Tomorrow is your birthday. you're entering it with a new wisdom that is priceless.
Love you so much that it hurts. mom

Yolanda said...

Your post made me cry!