Ringing In The New Year

I just got home from work.  It's New Year's Eve and I am kicked back trying to relax.  I thought I would give an update to my blog.  I am happy to say that I am adjusting to the "new normal" of life after cancer treatments.  I have a head full of curly hair.  I have continued bone pain that I am managing with pain meds, as little as I can possibly take to do the trick. The depression has subsided for the most part.  However, I have horrible insomnia.  It is to the point where I start feeling very anxious at bedtime, especially on Thursday and Friday nights when I have to work the next day.  I looked at the clock this morning at 4:56 and I had not slept a wink.  I have racing thoughts that circulate through my head as fast as lightning.  I have tried all kinds of things that might knock me out, but to no avail I am tossing and turning with an IMAX pictured show going on in my head. 


A lot has happened for me in 2010.  It has been over a year since I felt "the lump".  I remember thinking..."I know what this is, and its not good," but I just did not have time to hear someone tell me I had cancer.  I knew my life had to change.  I knew I had to change my lifestyle and my stress level and make some time for me.  With the sale of my business...the business that owned me, I finally had time to go in and get it checked out by a doctor.  I was told by the radiologist to come back in six months...actually I was told by the sonnogram  girl because the radiologist was too busy reading his newspaper to come and tell me himself after he spent 33 seconds looking at my films.  In my gut, I knew this was wrong.  After getting a biopsy by another doctor two weeks later, I was told the following day I had cancer.  She called me from her cell phone on a Friday night.  That Monday, I found out that my cancer was extremely aggressive, fast growing and there were five tumors totaling about 10 cm.  It was a rare form of breast cancer, triple negative.  So two weeks later at the age of 42, I had both breast removed and started chemo immediately after the drains were removed.  Radiation followed.  So here I am.  The new year is upon me.  What will it bring?  Hopefully, it will bring my reconstruction surgeries soon.  I am ready to get them over with and try to find a way to forget about having cancer.  I have a new outlook on life and the things that really matter.  I have friends and I have family, and most of all my faith.  

I will keep my blog updated from time to time, but it won't be as often.  I would like to not think about this disease.  I hope I never see it again.  I have done what I can to help spread awareness about triple negative breast cancer.  If you are just now reading this blog, I encourage you to go back and read from the beginning.  I welcome any questions or comments and I hope that I have enlightened others about this horrible disease.  Life must go on...at least that is what I am hoping for during my upcoming new year.  I don't know why this happened to me.  I do know that God works everything, even the bad...he works it out for the greater good.  I give so much thanks to my husband, my girls, my family and my co-workers and friends.  I am glad I have not had to go this alone.  I continue to pray for the friends that I have made that have been stricken by this disease.  I can only have hope that a cure will come soon.  May God bless you and your family this year!  Until next time my friends...