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Saturday, June 12, 2010

The Pain of Taxol

Well my last post bragged about a day with no feelings or thoughts of cancer.  I received my first Taxol treatment on Monday, and thought I was in the clear.  I had a great day Monday and Tuesday.  However, Wednesday morning I began to experience some arthritic-like joint and bone pain.  I racked  it up to the weather and thunderstorms.  By the afternoon I was in excruciating pain in every bone and joint of my body.  The only place that wasn't hurting was my chest, probably due to the fact that my mastectomy severed so many nerves. Internally, I was also hurting.  I was having spasms in my lower abdomen.  I felt like I was having uterine spasms similar to those that a woman has during the "after pains" of childbirth while breastfeeding.  It wasn't long before I could not walk.  Kevin had a call in to the doctor's office.  I thought that something was terribly wrong.  Before the treatment, I was told that the Taxol was so much better than the Adriamycin and Cytoxan as far as tolerating it.  They said some people experience neuropathy in the fingers and toes, or flu-like symptoms with some aches and pains.  What I was experiencing and still am, is disabling all over pain.  The doctor's office did call back and they told me to take my Hydrocodone with two Alieve.  It did work...and I was on Cloud 9.  I was so glad to not feel that pain anymore.   I felt so much better.  Unfortunately, as soon as the pain medication wore off, the pain was back.  The problem is, I am very sensitive to the Hydrocodone.  It nauseates me and causes vomiting if I take more than 2-3 in a day.  Today is Saturday, the fourth day of this unbearable pain.  The really weird thing is that with the pain comes what seems to be the physical shifting of my joints.  My ankles, knees, and shoulders start "popping".  My bones feel weak and my knees give out from underneath me.  I saw a commercial from "the scooter store" and was envious of the elderly lady that could move around her house with the ease of a button in her motorized wheelchair. A thought I tried to suppress, but couldn't.  I have felt like I am getting a taste of what it feels like to grow old and lose your health and mobility...all at way too young of an age.  I will pray that  these side effects will be temporary as they should be.  I told Kevin that I was afraid of the fact that with every treatment the side effects are supposed to increase.  I have read about many cases where this pain last for months or even years after treatments are over.  I hope anyone reading this that is facing these treatments understands that I believe that my reaction to this Taxol is one of the extreme, and I have to assume it will get better.  This is treatment for is not supposed to be easy.  I have a whole new appreciation for the ease of mobility, one that I don't have at the moment.  I also have a whole new respect for people who deal with chronic pain.  I hope the next post that I put up will bring better news.  Your prayers are appreciated as always.  I love reading your comments.  I have my comment moderation option on and I will post your comments as I read them in order to prevent spam comments from posting on the blog.  Until next time my friends...


Anonymous said...

So sorry to hear that you are hurting so badly. Praying for relief. If love could ease your pain you would have none at all.
Sandy, TJL

Tyler Brandley said...

I'm praying that you would be relieved of all pain and sickness in your body.I had the pain of passing a kidney stone on Wednesday and the few,(thank God), hours of pain I experienced sounds minor compared to what you have been enduring.My heart really goes out to you Penny. I will keep praying!!
Love, Tyler

elliebelfiglio said...

My dear, beautiful Penny, I wish I could take all those pain from you my child and put it in me. I am used to pain on my joins, back fingers and everywhere. How terrible it is that at the top of everything, you must go through this excruciating pain, too. All I can do from here is as usual be worry, and then pray, pray, pray. As always, we are going to church this morning and if it is any relief, you're the only one that we pray for and light candles for.
Penny, my dear child, I love you so much that it hurts when I hear about these things.
val and I love you, kevin and girls so very much.
From here to there

Jerry Johnson said...

2 Cor 1:3-4 says that God offers us comfort even during our difficulties. I think of you daily Penny and pray that God will give you comfort through your pain and agony. Remember that He is with us always.
Love, Jerry

Rachel W said...

Phil 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ Jesus, who strengthens me"
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"
We love you and are praying for you Penny! This WILL pass!

Anonymous said...

Hey Sis, Your in my thoughts and prayers. I know how strong you are and you will get through this. I love you. Susie

Cindy Holmes said...

So sorry you're in so much pain. I can't imagine. Stay strong -- so many people are praying for you! Love you, Cindy

willow58 said...

Footprints in the Sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there were one set of footprints.
This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat I could see only one set of footprints.
So I said to the Lord, "You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during
the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?"
The Lord replied, "The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand, is when I carried you."

JennJenn said...

Penny, you are in my prayers. I hope that you start feeling better soon.

Anonymous said...

penny just know i love you - GOd has ABOUNDING GRACE - there is not limit to the amount or fullness - and He extends that grace to us as needed.

During this time - You will see HIS abounding grace.

lunch tomorrow - see you then

Anonymous said...

Penny - God's grace is ABOUNDING - no limited amount or to it's fullness - His ABOUNDING GRACE is covering you during this time.

i love u -vicky