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Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Vertigo in my sleep!

Hello my friends!

I thought I better get on here and write before everyone thinks I am M.I.A. I spent all day Sunday cleaning house with my hubby until I finally wiped out on the bed and did not have the energy to even write. Today is Tuesday two days before my second chemo. I guess you could say that I felt pretty normal on Sunday....normal for having triple negative breast cancer. I still have the hole in the right side incision but it is beginning to close up a bit. I begin to ache and hurt in the evening and last night it was pretty bad. I just did not feel good in general. In fact, I would say it was my worst post chemo day that I've had as far as how I felt. It followed the best day that I have had. This reminds me of "hair days". You always have your best hair day the day before the worst hair day, and then you know its time to go to the salon. Pretty soon I will be having "no hair" days. I expect it will be Friday that my hair will begin to come out; it will be the 14th day since chemo started and that is usually when it comes out they say.

I don't know why I felt so bad. I went to the DMV with Landri to get her driver's license renewed because it expired on her birthday. So we went first thing in the morning during school hours. She drove us (with her expired license) because sometimes I just can't drive. It went pretty quick and we were out of there. By the time we were done I had a headache and body aches. We stopped at Sonic and I got a strawberry shake....something I usually crave if I am getting nauseated. Landri took me home and went off to school. She got me all tucked in bed before she left (a role reversal to say the least). I slept until my aunt Patsy and uncle David came by to say hello. I introduced them to the world of Iphones, Facebook, CafeWorld, Farmville, and Zynga Texas Hold'em Poker, Words with Friends, and all the other really important areas of technology that seem to dominate my time these days. We said our good-byes and I decided to drive to pick Presley up at her friends house. By this time it was 5:30 p.m. The day had wiped me out and once again I was in bed. This time nausea was beginning to creep in slowly. I fell asleep and awoke just in time for Kevin to get home and say hello. He works late on Mondays. Presley and I snuggled and watched some TV but it was about time for her to go to bed. Landri had already gone to bed as she often does. These days, sometimes Presley will tuck me in and kiss me right there in my bed and then Kevin will tuck her in her bed. This was one of those nights. I had already taken an anti-nausea medication and I just wasn't able to get out of bed to go tuck her in and kiss her. So the role reversal happened again, this time with Presley.

From midnight until about 4 in the morning I had the worst vertigo like the room was spinning so hard. I tried to just keep my eyes tightly shut and my head seemed so heavy like the weight of it was going to just crush down right through my pillows and leave a permanent impression on the memory foam mattress. Charlie, the german shepherd, kept moving in her crate outside our bedroom door and she was whining. Every time she moved it was like the sound of it jolted my head and the room would spin faster. I finally woke Kevin up and told him to let her out and bring me more anti-nausea meds. I have a total of 3 oral and one cream. I was starting to break out in a sweat and my mouth was salivating. I hate his as most people do. (The other night I was on Facebook and Tyler from the salon popped up in the chat window. We chatted for awhile and he asked if there was anything I specific I wanted him to pray about. I told him to pray I don't throw up, because I hate throwing up!) So obviously I was not enjoying this feeling that was torturing me through the night last night. When I did finally fall asleep, I had nightmares all night.

So here I am, blogging. My dad is coming over to bring me a strawberry shake. I talked to him on the phone earlier and I began to cry like a baby. This was all because he asked me how I was feeling. I replied "not very good..." sniffle, sniffle, and then I started to boo-hoo as if to say...."daddy I don't feel very good".....So he is coming over and bringing me a strawberry shake.

Joyce is coming over to bring me a hat she bought me at SAM MOON's. She text me and asked me if I needed anything and I told her "butterfinger". She said "OK". She is a sweetie and she just lives around the corner thankfully. There is nothing worse than this feeling of knowing you are probably going to be hugging the porcelain pretty soon. Tyler!!! get to praying! (I think he must have forgot). What I don't understand is why it has waited this long to set in....I thought I was in the clear. I guess I have been lucky so far. I did notice yesterday that I had a real COKE (not diet). I could hardly drink it because it literally burned going down my throat. Not the burn that feels good from the fizz, but a true burn. I think that is from the linings of the mouth and throat dying off from the chemo. They said that it would happen.

Ok enough of my whining. My daddy just called and he is at Sonic around the corner so I will bring this tribute to my nausea and self pity to an end. Maybe the shake will do the trick! Good bye for now my friends.


elliebelfiglio said...

Oh, my dear Penny, I wish I could get all your pain and discomfort and transfer it into my body. Since I can't do that, I can just pray that God help you in this difficult journey and give you enough strength to ease through this. I will see you the day of your chemo; and hang in there my child. You'll be just fine soon.

kimwillows said...

I'm so sorry you are feeling so bad. I hate throwing up, too, and can only imagine what it must be like to know it won't be just a 24-hour thing, like a stomach virus usually is. I will pray that this bad time passes quickly. Thanks for keeping us updated.

AFWingMom said...

thanks for the update! i wish i could throw up for you. sounds gross but i'd do it so you'd feel better. i'll keep praying and sending you (((hugs)))

vickyboiles said...

Hi Penny you were on my mind all day yesterday - i just can't stand that you have to hurt so much. we should have sonic do a regular delivery three times a day.