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Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Cinderella At The Ball

What did the grape say when it got stepped on?.....Nothing.  It just let out a little wine!    What can I say?  I feel like Cinderella at the ball and the clock is about to strike midnight.  I have felt so good the past few days.  Even though I have triple negative breast cancer, I almost have felt normal.  Of course I am overlooking the fact that I am bald, boobless, and I my energy runs out quickly.  I have had spurts of nausea and vertigo, but they have not stayed around too much.  Overall, I have been blessed with some pretty good days.  Tomorrow, however is round #3 for the dreaded Red Devil and his friend.  The Red Devil is the chemo drug Adriamycin and his friend is Cytoxan.  Any drug with "tox" in its name is scary to say the least.  Thinking about getting chemo tends to make me nauseous.  I guess I should be welcoming it with open arms because it ultimately will be my "hero" drug.  If the cancer never comes back then it will be the chemo treatments we can thank.  Although I know it all is really in Gods hands and it is him who I will thank above anything else.  So tonight I am like Cinderella at the ball enjoying my last few moments of bliss while I still feel good.

I think I have really done pretty well with the chemo.  Even though it has made me feel bad, I know that it is not nearly as bad as it could be.  I think that I owe a big thank you to a lot of people out there that are praying for my specific needs.  During this time many people have asked me what to pray for and how to be specific in their prayers.  I have asked them to please pray for minimal side effects of the chemo.  You know I used to think it was wrong in some way to ask God for something very specific.  But I understand now that it isn't so.  God is way bigger than any of our wishes or requests.  He can do anything and he cares about us deeply.  He knows every hair on our heads.  Even when we don't have any hair, he knows every freckle and every scar.  He wants us to trust him and be specific in our prayers.  So pray for me, and pray that the chemo does not make me sick.  I want to be able to see my mother for mother's day.  She is in an Alzheimer's lock down facility near Allen and I know I can't make the drive.  My sister, Cindy, said she would come and get me and I could spend the night at her house on Friday.  Then Cindy, Susie and I could go see her on Saturday.  The three of us sisters all together.  Wow!  That hardly ever happens. My mother is oblivious for the most part to what is going on with me.  They told her I had breast cancer but if you asked her five minutes later she might not know. I just hope I feel good enough to ride in the car.  I have always battled motion sickness and now it is just magnified because of the chemo.

Ok so I am hoping and praying for the best and I am also praying for some dear ladies that I have met through the Triple Negative Breast Cancer Foundation's Facebook page.  One is named Heather and I believe she is stage four and is going through chemo. Please pray for her healing. I think she is only a couple of days ahead of me in her treatment.  Another is named Lisa.  She is at the end of her treatments but still needs prayer to keep this cancer from coming back.  Kristen, is a light for Christ, and is stage four and keeping such a positve attitude.  She is a fighter.  Pray for her.  There is a 37 year old female, Shawna, she was just dignosed and I am sure she is scared.  Pray for her.  Also through a mutual friend. I have met Cindy who was diagnosed last year with triple negative breast cancer.  She is full of wisdom, strength, and has a huge love for the lord.  We have only emailed each other back and forth. Her words are powerful and she evokes encouragement to me daily.  All these women are battling some stage of triple negative.  We are all craving knowledge and information.  There are not many people out there who you can share stories with who have had triple negative.  So my readers and followers out there, I ask you to pray for these women.  Heather, Lisa, Shawna, Cindy, and myself.  These are all young women...too young to have breast cancer. This is typical for triple negative breast cancer.  It usually targets  women at or under forty.  Also, pray for my aunt Patsy who is also battling an intestinal cancer.  

Thanks to everyone for keeping me going on this "outlet" I have through this blog.  I really enjoy reading your comments so please feel free to leave one.  I really do look forward to reading them!  I kind of get disappointed if I get no comments....I wonder...."is anyone out there?" I talking to myself?" (that would not be the first time...hehe).

If you are wondering why I am starting out with the corny jokes.  Well, it is because I am trying to get my FACEBOOK friends to click on the link.  So I put a one-liner joke out there on my facebook status and tell them to click on the link to this blog to read the punch line.  I know, I's a dirty little trick.  But is is a dirty little trick for a good cause!  The more people that know about triple negative breast cancer the better.  Help spread awareness!   Share this blog with a friend!  Until next time...


Yolanda said...

Words from Amy Grant's song "Better than a Hallelujah". I love this song!

God loves a lullaby
In a mothers tears in the dead of night
Better than a Hallelujah sometimes.
God loves the drunkards cry,
The soldiers plea not to let him die
Better than a Hallelujah sometimes.

We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah.

The woman holding on for life,
The dying man giving up the fight
Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes
The tears of shame for what's been done,
The silence when the words won't come
Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes.

Better than a church bell ringing,
Better than a choir singing out, singing out.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the posts. Just when I think I'm having a crappy day, I look at your blogs and remember that my "crappy day" is no where near the "crappy" fight you're battling. Everything is immediately put into perspective through your posts/blogs. Makes me appreciate the BIGGER things and let go of the petty things! Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and looking forward to your next post! Good luck tomorrow and I hope that you're able to enjoy the rest of your day/evening!! Cynthia A.

AFWingMom said...

I enjoy your blog Penny. Helps keep my perspective on life and the things that sometimes can distract us from the real stuff that we should be focusing on. :) As always praying for you and sending (((hugs)))

Penny said...

Thank you Yolanda so much. Loved reading those words. I am going to get that song. Cynthia A I am so glad you are reading. AFwingmom thank you for your encouragement and all the comments you leave me. I look forward to them!

elliebelfiglio said...

Yesterday I went to a praying group through my church in a church member's house. We all prayed the rosary for you and all the other people who battle some form of cancer, young or old. My child my prayers now always starts with you, and then kevin and all the other men who fight this battle with their wives; and all the young or old women who battle this monster. Val watches this TY programe that has to do with if so and so fight with so and so what would happen. Sometimes I watch with him. It reminds me of you and all others. Chemo is your shield from enemy. in this programe never anyone had won the fight if he didn't have a sheild. So we have your surgery as a gurantee, your chemo as shield and your radiation will seal everything. I see you today at the hospital and if you feel good after chemo, we go to lunch. Until then my precious adopted daughter

vickyboiles said...

hey Penny you are in my prayers to day. You amaze me! and don't forget Cinderella live Happily Everafter!

The Wiskow's said...

Maddox, Kamden, and I were driving to t-ball last night. The car was quiet for just a second and Maddox out of the blue said, "Mommy, I hope Mrs. Penny feels better." My eyes filled with tears and I said, "Oh buddy, me too." It was quiet once again and I asked if he thought we should pray for Mrs. Penny. Our prayer went like this, Dear God, Please take Mrs. Penny's cancer away and make her feel better. We love you God. Amen.

Anonymous said...

Penny, What an encouragement it was to be able to hear in your own words, what the battle is like for you. I will continue to pray for you and your family. I hope you are up for being with your sisters and Mom this weekend. So good to have yall at Church on Sunday. You are just beautiful!
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10 Expect Blessings,

Laura T said...

Penny, I enjoy reading your thoughts and appreciate you taking us all through this mysterious journey with you. I have been praying every day for your recovery and will now include the prayers to keep you free from those awful side effects. I also pray for Kevin and the girls and the strength they will need every day of this battle. Don't forget we're right next door whenever you all need something. We love you! Happy Mother's Day!

Penny said...

Thanks to everyone for all the comments I love reading them. It is very encouraging.